What to do when you break someone’s trust

How to Fix Broken Trust

When you break someone else’s trust, then there are some things that you can do, but ultimately it is up to the other person.

If you don’t know or understand what you did, find out what it is and WHAT DAMAGE it did to the other person. What kind of pain was caused?
With sincerity in your heart and true remorse go to them and find out what they need. It is likely very different than what you need. You likely didn’t mean to hurt, yet didn’t understand their point of view or what they needed. You want to address the pain that they feel as well as any necessary practical reparations. Address the harm and the pain.
If this person wishes to continue in relationship, approach the matter from a team-spirit. Let the bigger picture guide you. Take full responsibility for your actions. Humility is key since the ego will come up with very convincing arguments that rationalize your behavior.
Sometimes we are blamed for the break of trust and all ego aside, we don’t believe that it is our fault. We think, “I’d be happy to cop to it, but it isn’t me.” That can happen. What is really powerful is when we apologize anyway. When we come to someone in humility and a spirit of wishing to make things right, we can set the space for miraculous healing. It is a divine gift that we can give one another.

The spiritual masters were all very good at this. In a way, they absorb the hurt and harm, but since they are so connected to their own soul and purpose, it has no effect on them.

Now, the biggest obstacle that I have seen is that people have broken their own hearts. The gap in trust for themselves is massive, yet very hard to see. When we can learn to forgive ourselves, then we can trust ourselves again. When we trust ourselves, it is easier to trust in others.

One begets the other. As we learn in one area, it spreads to the other. We can begin to have an open heart even when someone has broken our trust. When we approach the issue with grace and compassion, they are healed, and so are we.

We learn by doing how to access compassion as the first stop. This means someone can come to us with their big mistake and instead of jumping to “How does this affect me? What about me?” We can be open and ask “What is being asked of us now? What wishes to be healed or learned?”

One of my teachers said that it doesn’t really matter who you marry. What matters is how you show up for it. And the more contentious, the more that you learn and heal old stuff—if you are willing.

We make mistakes. Everyone does and often, someone is on the business end of our mistake. We can make it ok to make mistakes and take the heat off while also being personally responsible.

If I continue to approach myself with love, trust, and grace NO MATTER WHAT, then I can approach anyone else with that same love, trust and grace. In my vulnerability, there is strength. This is a way to connect with other worldly love. The love that heals beyond measure.

Your Assignment: Can you give yourself and others a break today? What would it be like if you lived in an environment where it was ok to make mistakes? Could that give you some breathing room and also help you to include people as they are?

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!