What To Do When You Are So Angry You Want To Spit

We all have anger.  The problem lies with how we use it.

In India, anger is considered the most valuable emotion.  Over here, it is the among the most dysfunctional!

How can anger be valuable?  Anger is a warning sign. It tells us that we perceive the situation as dangerous.  When we allow ourselves breathing room in our lives, especially in our relationships, we can ease into becoming aware of what that perceived danger is.

Usually it is fear or sadness.  Someone else’s behavior activates a long-ago hurt in us but the booby prize is this: it has nothing to do with the other person.

What gets activated is a belief created long ago (often before we have language skills at all) that can resemble some of the following:

  • “I’m not lovable”
  • “You will abandon me”
  • “I am not enough”

Heartbreaking, right?  And isn’t it easier to wield the phony power of anger than to settle into the above vulnerability?

When we can breath into our anger and ask ourselves, “What does this really mean?  What lies beneath this volatility?” We have a very precious opportunity to heal ancient sadness and fear.

It isn’t easy, but it is evolutionary.  And you deserve it.  In fact, the health of the planet depends on your happiness and wellbeing, so it is your duty to bring that peace to yourself and express it into this world.

Your Assignment:

Practice now, in times of harmony, getting activated by a fake fear. * Imagine that fear and breathe deeply.  Do that three more times and ask yourself, “What is lurking below the surface here?”  By doing this now, you have a much better chance of accessing this experience when the mercury rises next time.


*They are all fake, but they feel quite real.  In this case, you are doing a little roll play or practice.

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