What if?

Dear Sarah,

Many times in speaking about whether two people should remain together, you have mentioned “that decision will be made for you” and I just don’t know if I understand that thought process. Can you explain what that means ?

–Gretchen, Seattle

Dear Gretchen:
“The decision being made for you” is all about faith.  Faith is tough because it means first, relinquishing control and second knowing and ALLOWING that all is in divine order.  It doesn’t need to be faith in any sort of god.  It is about opening up to a BIGGER PICTURE.

The big decisions are obvious, if we stop poking at them with obsession or trying to “figure it out.” If we are quiet and review the signs, (which is not to be confused with forcing reality into convenient “proof” that what we want is the right way) we can open ourselves to a higher purpose that our instinctual drives and desires, which are fear based.

People that have the problem of insecurity in relationship will continue to have that until they commit in their heart of hearts to be with with their mate.   Yoga Master and Teacher Yogi Bhajan said: “Without commitment, there can be no happiness.” What that means is that we are plagued by what ifs and maybes.  It is a dilemma we see all to frequently in this culture of TOO MANY OPTIONS and disposable goods.

Commitment is appropriate, of course, after we get clear on what our needs are and then how to compassionately communicate them.

You are welcome to send me your questions.  I answer one question on the last Thursday of the month.

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