What Could You Be Mistaking for Love?


In opera, love is characterized in terms of obsession, possession, jealousy, revenge, and turmoil (usually death!).

Obsession, possession, deceit, revenge and jealousy are neither indicators nor byproducts of love.  These traits are all the realm of the ego, which does not experience love.  Once a person experiences the deep heart connection of love, the ego often kicks in and tries to force the connection again but with the broken tools stated above.  Frankly, we have all been there!

In love, there is no room for judgment, criticism, and cruelty. However, these can creep into the relationship…

We see in movies and on stage the highs and lows of addictive relationships which are peddled as “love.” This makes for good entertainment and is an excruciating way to live.  I put “love” in parenthesis here because LOVE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH obsession, harming, judging, and proximity.

What do I mean by “proximity”?

Too many folks settle for someone purely because the person showed interest, had some time available, or was nearby. That is the lowest possible standard and sells oneself short.

Need has very little to do with love, but you can need someone and love them at the same time.  The neediness comes from the ego and the need for the illusion of control; which has nothing to do with another person, but since they are in proximity, they get assigned as instant-relief.

The longing to belong to another being is the realm of the soul. Once we connect to our soul, we can then authentically express that relationship in all of our relationships, especially romantic.

All of our relationships are a reflection of how we relate to our own soul.

Have you adapted opera-style qualities in your love life?  Do you find the major ups and downs that are as addictive as a drug or sugar?  Can you really describe that as love?

Your Turn: 

Look at this list of characteristics that are portrayed as love and see where you may have been mistaking them as love.

Obsession, Possession, Judgment, Criticism, Proximity, Attention, Sex, Cruelty, Revenge, Abuse

A problem identified is 90% solved! Change can start today.


One Response to “What Could You Be Mistaking for Love?”
  1. Sangeeta Kaur Khalsa says:

    Love, love, love you and your beautiful philosophy! Your site is great-thank you for your service to the world.


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