What are You Mistaking for LOVE?

Today’s blog is inspired by La Traviata, which Vj and I saw last night.

In opera, love is depicted in terms of obsession, possession, jealousy, revenge, and turmoil (usually death!).

Obsession, possession, deceit, revenge and jealousy are not indicators or byproducts of love.  These traits are all the realm of the ego, which does not experience love.  Once a person experiences the deep heart connection of love, the ego often kicks in and tries to force the connection again but with the broken tools stated above.  In love, there is no room for judgment, criticism, and cruelty.

We see in movies and on stage the highs and lows of addictive “love.” This makes for good entertainment and is an excruciating way to live.  I put “love” in parenthesis here because love has NOTHING TO DO WITH obsession, harming, judging, and proximity.

Why proximity?  Too many folks settle for someone purely because the person showed interest or was in the area.  That is the lowest possible standard and sells oneself short.

Need has very little to do with love, but you can need someone and love them at the same time.  The neediness comes from the ego, the need to control, and a need for connection.
Yoga Master Yogi Bhajan called it the “longing to belong”  which has nothing to do with another person, but since they are in proximity, they get assigned as insta-relief.

He also talked about the “urge to merge” meaning that we have screwed up sex to the point where we have stripped it of it’s intensely beautiful merging with the oneness of life and reduced it to an act of business, negotiation, and game playing.

This is sad and so unnecessary.
Where have you adapted opera-style qualities in your love life?  Where do you find the major ups and downs that are as addictive as a drug or sugar?  Can you really describe that as love?

Your homework:

1. Try a new experience with love.  One that includes being selfless.  Here’s a thought: when you settle for someone who treats you unwell, you are actually being selfish!  You are trying to make something that is not there (LOVE) and will contort yourself in order to try and manipulate your terms into this agreement.  When you allow someone to be mean to you over and over again, that is your sickness, it is your ego holding the reins, forcing an illusion that obscures reality.  It denies the fact that you are a child of the universe who is no greater nor less than anyone else and that you deserve the same compassion and loving experience that is available to everyone!  How about that?

2. Look at this list of characteristics that are portrayed as love and see where you may have been mistaking them as love.  Make a list because miracles happen when you put pen to paper.  If this is the only part of the homework that you do, great!  Change can start today.

Obsession
Possession
Judgment
Criticism
Proximity
Attention
Sex
Cruelty
Revenge
Abuse

3. Try being nice to your self and attracting nice people into your life.  It takes courage to receive it and humility to allow that something is happening in your life that you are not orchestrating.

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