Too busy for your relationships?

Angry and time sickWe have made ourselves so busy in this culture that we don’t make time for the things that really matter.

One one’s deathbed, do you think that anyone ever says, “I’m so glad that I worked and did errands more than I related to people”?

In The Tipping Point Malcolm Gladwell discusses how few of us are willing to have many acquaintances because we don’t want to have the obligation of saying “yes’ to invitations. In this context, he does not address the compatibility of natures, merely demands on our time.

I work with many single people, especially women, who simply have no time to date or create long-term relationships. They have booked themselves so solidly, there is no room at the inn!

Similarly, married folks can get into a cocoon-type existence that is often fiercely protected.

Our society is focused on producing results. It is almost as if we have to earn on spot on the Earth by do-ing and getting things crossed off the to-do list. This lends itself to making ourselves productivity-sick or time-sick.

Gay Hendricks in The Big Leap illustrates how relationships to time are victim-based! He states that if we complain about time or being too busy, that we are locked in a victim consciousness and refuse to take personal responsibility.

When I read that, it shocked me to the core. The way he breaks down how we can shift into personal responsibility in relating to time is a topic for another article. Culturally, we have an agreement that we are all victims of the demands on our time and that the system, while faulty, is the only way.

I suggest another way. Breathing Room. I have built breathing room into my schedule and must admit, I feel more alive and connected to myself and others as a result. I feel so much freedom. Busy-ness robs us of vitality and our ability to relate to one another.

I heard a Buddhist antidote to distraction is to live a life of ethical behavior and moral discipline. This is not an outside-imposed system but is meant to guide you to live within your own integrity. By living within the guidelines of my heart, I have no need to distract myself from the menacing tape loop of all the things my ego thinks I should or shouldn’t have done.

Your Assignment: Look at your schedule and see where you can build in breathing room. Can you space your appointments farther apart? Can you offer yourself more time to get to someplace? Can you allow things to take as long as they take instead of shoe-horning them into your schedule?

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