The Bottom Line (Especially with TEENS!)

“If they would just trust me”

“If he would only do what he was told!”

These are some of the many sentiments that I have been hearing from teens and their parents lately.  The guidelines that cultivate peace in a romantic relationship can do likewise in families.

The bottom line is that many parents are still using the old paradigm of dictatorship in the home.  I don’t know if it ever worked, but in this time and space, there is no room for it!

Teens and parents each yearn for respect and without it; there will be no peace.

Respect must be outgoing as well as incoming.

This means, parents must act respectably so that their teens can see them as strong role models who act with integrity.  The “do as I say, not as I do” scenario holds no water.  When a parent keeps their word to their children and others, teens can see what it is to command respect from their community.

If a parent lacks respectability, teens see through this façade and will challenge this faulty system.

Parents all too often lack respect for their kids, too.  They expect them to be small models of themselves and obey any rule, whether founded or not.  How many of us heard, “because I said so!” as a response to questioning the logic behind a demand?

Can we respect our children’s intelligence enough to offer them the back-story of why we put guidelines in place?  Or must we be so identified with being right that we cut off communication?

Teens must learn to be respectable and respectful as well. The greatest example of course, is their parents.  Seeing parents act respectfully to one another has a huge impact.  So does seeing their parents speak honesty and also admit when they are wrong.

One of the best ways to allow a teen to earn and grow respect from others is to give them a duty or task.  Once the duty is accomplished, then they earn privileges to do what they want.  If they are disrespectful or refuse their duties, their privileges are not provided.

We teach people how to treat us.  We must look at how we are creating our own realities of frustration.  When we look within instead of placing blame, we have the power of changing a situation.

If we insist on being victims to our children or parents, there is no hope for happiness, unified action or peace.

As one person said, “If other people are the problem, I am screwed!”

Your Assignment: Can you review your day-to-day interactions how respectful you are to others?  Do you treat all people with equal dignity?  Do you ever act as a bully, even subtly?  Are your words aligned with your actions and integrity?

I offer you a special Love Activation complimentary consultation. To book your appointment call 206-866-5150 and we will set up a time to chat.

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