The Walls Of Cynicism


Life brings us many opportunities to love and form lasting friendships. More often than not we end up missing them because out conditioning has made us extremely cynical. Our hackles are up before a stranger has a chance to say “hello.”

I understand that, many folks have unsavory motives, so it is up to us to develop our senses, our intuition and to trust ourselves to make good decisions.  If we are strong on the inside, then no one, NO ONE can take advantage of us.

We can still be givers to those we don’t want to engage with.

For example, I have a weekly meeting near the Tenderloin district, which is overrun by junkies and people very down on their luck. Many of these people have had to resort to some pretty devious forms of manipulation in order to survive.

I don’t always have time to have a conversation with them. And I certainly don’t want to get caught up in any drama stories.  However, I smile—from my heart—without putting myself in harm’s way.

Sometimes, I offer them food or a cup of coffee, but my energy is set so that I don’t involve myself in their commotions of emotions with them.

The same can go for close relationships too.

I can give freely from my heart to someone that seems in an unreasonable or wacky state, and not do the drama dance with them, because, I know that it is NOT ABOUT ME.

I can simply stand by, hold space, if necessary, and breathe. I can stay in a neutral space and still offer my love and support.

We miss many opportunities to receive merely because we put ourselves in a phony-protection mode.

Of course we need to hone our intuition so that we can filter out the baloney, when necessary. However, if we go too far, we close the doors to new friendships and love.

Strong intuition and breathing room allow us to create a neutral protective space and open up to see what’s really happening. We can then decide what combination of emotional distance and support is most appropriate.

Your Assignment

In order to create a protective neutral space for yourself, you will have to develop the habit of hearing people out on a daily basis. Start with small things, if someone’s making a sales pitch, hear them out and then take your time to decide if it’s of value to you. If you meet someone new at an event, allow them to talk, hear what your intuition tells you about them, not your conditioning. Keep listening and checking in with yourself “How is this resonating with me?”

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