The Lowest Common Denominator

Looking back at my own life, I see how over and over again, I set myself and others up to fail by dating someone simply because they had interest in me.  That was selling myself so short.   I see this theme played out in films and television over and over again.  A woman goes out with a guy, simply because he has interest in her (and vice versa).

Sometimes it is a reunion of two souls who tried to unite in the past, yet could not make it work the first time.  Unless we do things differently, we always get the same results.

Without carefully reviewing one’s own needs and desires, we set ourselves up for failure.  This sabotage is a direct result of low self-esteem.  There is an inherent belief that we have no needs that are worthy of being expressed.  How sad!

I work with clients all the time who are very murky about what they want and need in love and life.  Dreaming big seems like a right reserved for other people.  When you go out with someone solely based on the fact that he or she asked, we have the potential of missing out on so much of the richness and depth of connection.

When you don’t address your needs, you are like a limp noodle that is tossed around according to someone else’s whim.  In extreme cases, it can set you up for abusive relationships.  On the other end of the spectrum, it can simply be annoying for the  loving partner who would like to hear about and see to your needs.

When one is clear about his/her needs, then they become more magnetic.  Knowing who you are and what you want is not “needy” it is self-assured, which is an active position and is energetically attractive.  It takes the guess-work out of dating.  When you are crystal clear about what you want and need in a relationship, then the pool becomes much, much smaller, yes, but it becomes healthier, and more realistic.  It moves us out of the realm of scarcity and into the realm of purpose.

Remember, all one needs is ONE partner.  If you can get clear about what you need and want, then you don’t need to go shopping for that mate.  He or she will come to you!

Your Assignment: Take a look at what you have been getting.  Is it desirable?  If not, how are you contributing to your dissatisfaction?  If you need some help seeing how you can get out of the cycle of frustration, give me a call and we can see how I can give  you the support that you deserve and desire! 415-779-4267


One Response to “The Lowest Common Denominator”
  1. Jan McKenzie says:

    Your words are so profound to me! Whatever your subject, your words speak to me! Thank you so much for all this insight and inspiration! Jan

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