The Highest Love is Real Love

I have been taught that love is not an emotion, it is a decision.

This shift in my perspective allows me to renew my commitment to my husband and our relationship in a very empowered and intentional way.  Gratefully, I can decide on a day to day basis whether or not I want to love all those who cross my path, or not.

The practice of loving in the face of crabbiness, indifference, and even anger takes strength and vulnerability.  It is not easy.  It takes patience and persistence.  Once snubbed, it is easy to get on the defensive or withdraw.

The decision to stay the course rather than be thrown off by outside circumstances is a way to peace.  It can be a hard fought path, but it is well worth it.

Just today I was talking to someone who thought that all would be well, if only people would act right!  I know that urge.  It is give a very convincing argument!  Here’s the rub; if other people are the problem, I’m sunk!

What do we do then when our mate is in his/her own world, especially if it is exactly the most inconvenient TIME!   How can we release expectation and allow them the space to be themselves?

One way is breath.  Another is seeking a bigger picture.  We don’t know what our mate’s lesson is.  If we go in an fix things, we could be robbing them from a very valuable lesson.

The more that we can see that “The Other Person is YOU” the more free we are to be compassionate and know that we are capable of great harm and great good.

I used to get so annoyed when I would get cut of by drivers until I really got to see that I can sometimes drive like a lunatic, too!  I can expand that awareness to my husband and others that are close to me and give them a wide but loving berth.

I can also expand this compassion to people who have harmed me.  I can relax knowing that they were doing the best they could with the tools that they had, just like me on any given day.  Sometimes we act ungracefully, unskillfully, and harmfully.  If I emit compassion towards the one that harmed me especially if it is in the PAST, they lose the power to unnerve me in the present and future.  Consequently, I forgive myself as an added benefit!

Your Assignment

Next time someone is crabby with you, give them a shot of that highest love.  This is the love that asks for nothing in return.  When you have succeeded with a stranger or acquaintance, celebrate your success and then try it on you mate!  Do it over and over and over again until it works.  When it works, celebrate!  Then ask your mate how it was for them.
Remember, this kind of love is quiet and wants nothing in return.  It is not badgering or explaining your love.

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