Tears, Heartache, and Relief

For much of my life, I avoided conflict or discomfort.  I now see that avoidance compounds my suffering and that if I am able to stay the course and acknowledge what I experience, it lasts a shorter time and I do less damage!

My husband, Vj, recently told me something that was very hard for me to hear.  It rocked me emotionally.  I felt a tidal wave of sadness and shame overcome me.

I was crying in the tub.  I cried in the car.  This sadness felt like it originated in the very center of my being.  I keep breathing and crying, breathing and crying.

I had made a habit of consistently skirting any disturbance and here I was, faced with a big one!  I have learned in the moment, I can make a decision to do something different and have a new experience.  That was what I chose.

What he said had very little to do with him. It had everything to do with my sore spots that had been created years before we ever met.  Long ago, I had adapted insecurities from events outside of my control.  I got to see how they still had some control over me.

During that recent 18-hour period, I had moments of comfort and even happiness.  I also had moments of deep loneliness.  I took solace in knowing that it all was temporary.

What was miraculous was that:

1.     I did not indulge the thoughts that tried to creep in and make Vj the villain.

2.     I allowed myself to have feelings.

3.     When we sat down to talk it through, I was not dramatic.

4.     I said everything that I needed to in a spirit of partnership and compassion.

5.     After our talk, there was ZERO baggage!

We walked through it gracefully.  That we were able to go about our days and do what was in front of us was amazing.  That neither of us ever took a position of “you vs. me” was also beautiful.  I am very grateful.

My sister says that when we learn our lessons, “God turns up the heat” so that we can refine ourselves even more.  I like the notion that Vj and I have proved that we were ready for this very big test—and passed!

We have come so far since our early days of endorphines and all-night chatting.  What we have now is sustainable, enduring love and respect.  And I know that the best is yet to come!

Your Assignment:

How can you lean into something that is troubling you today?  Can you relax into the collective courage of all who read this and are rooting for you?  Will you allow yourself to be in something rather than run from it and release yourself from its grip?

Are you ready to learn the practical step-by-step system that I use and teach others to transcend conflict and loneliness?  Call me at 206-866-5150


One Response to “Tears, Heartache, and Relief”
  1. Kate Donnelly says:

    I love the idea that everyone is an angel and a messenger, to be praised and blessed. There is grace in every situation, whether it feels good or “right” or not. If I turn to face the light of that fierce grace I can only be illuminated. I have learned to prefer the pain of walking through it and dealing with emotions as they appear, over the pain of asking the Supreme to keep it warm for me (adding an extra serving as karmic interest). I know the Universe wants to get me to happiness and will drag me kicking and screaming through hell to get there. The Beloved says to me what I often say to my kids, “Sweetie, we can do it the easy way or the hard way…….”

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