Support is where you make it

CourageThe things that we learn in crisis!  We get so much insight in hindsight.

Here is a valuable lesson I learned in a time of crisis.

When we need deep support, we also have to have courage.  This courage will allow us to be vulnerable.  Then, we need to have courage to ask for what we need.  When I need support, I carefully choose who I will be vulnerable with, and fortunately, I have a large number of people that are trustworthy in my life.  These people know how to support me, but if there is any question, especially if I am preparing to be excruciatingly vulnerable, I set us both up to win and tell them: “I am going to tell you something and if you need to respond, please do so dispassionately and use words like, ‘ok’ or “I see’.”  This means that we aren’t ramping up the drama and they can just listen.  We don’t need drama in times of discomfort, we need solution.

How many times, when you have had something tumultuous happen in your life, has someone brought their unfinished business into the mix?  Or how about unsolicited advice?  Neither of these are helpful.

Alternately, you can ask yourself, “When have I brought my unfinished business or given unsolicited advice?”

We are all learning…


2 Responses to “Support is where you make it”
  1. Well said, Sarah!

    We all need to focus more on *listening* to each other, rather than only *hearing* what the person has to say and thinking more about what YOU are going to say in response.

    Thank you for posting this. :-)


  2. I posted it as a link on my facebook page. It’s very true that we all just need to be patient and listen to one another.
    All the best,
    Nutrition and Style Consultant

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