Success and Room for More Improvement

Eckart Tolle said something about being with one’s family is a litmus test to one’s spiritual growth and progress.

Some months back, I wrote about being different around my husband’s family. At that time, we had spent just a few days with some extended family at a wedding function and had a blast.

We have just returned from two months in India with Vj’s immediate family and I want to share with you some of the lessons learned.

We got to see that we must return to India more often.  It had been four years since Vj had seen his parents, sister, and many more that are also dear to him.  Being away for four year allows for all sorts of expectations to build up for everyone. Expectations can be a recipe for disaster.  When we expect others to act or be a certain way, we have no control on the outcome and more often than not, are disappointed.  This is very human.

Another important lesson I got was how I must think of and serve others but from a fulfilled and whole place.  What this means is that I take care of my basic needs and then I can be strong enough to go and concern myself with helping others get what they want and need.

Some of the things that I did to take care of myself were:

1.     Morning meditation and prayer.  I used the St. Francis Prayer every day to give me perspective.

2.     I ate as well as I could.  There is a propensity to over-feed those that you love, so I had to take great care not to overeat just to please others.  This had to be done in a delicate manner so that my family that served me did not feel I rejected their love.

3.     Vj and I maintained date night.  No matter what, we always had at least one evening a week where we connected and fed our relationship.

4.     I did whatever I could to set myself up to win.  For example, we went to a hotel on the nights I had client calls.  This way, I knew that I would have the environment I needed to take care of my people. I also had a cell phone with access to international calls so that I could call for emotional support if necessary.

5.     I went with the flow and made a commitment to be fine being in the dark.  This was especially helpful since many of the plans were made in a different language, so I essentially got ready when I was told and went where I was taken!

Because it had been so long since we had reunited with Vj’s family, I rested in the fact that this trip was not about me.  I know that our family was very happy to have me along, however, I did the best I could to simply show up and be with the family on their time and terms.

While I was perfectly imperfect, it felt so good to be part of a greater good.  There were times when culture shock came on fiercely and I went to either nap or cry for a few minutes.  The good news is that I did not make anyone pay for my emotions.  I simply had them and then carried on.  This is a big success for me who had been so overly sensitive and dramatic the last visit.

While I experienced how far I had come, I also got to see how I can improve for next time.  More about that in the future…

Your Assignment:

Is there a situation that you do not have much control over?  Is there a way that you can make sure that your basic needs are met so that you may contribute to the greater good?  Can you sacrifice the inconsequential stuff for harmony while maintaining your balance?
I always offer a free assesment. To book your appointment call 206-866-5150 and we will set up a time to chat.

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