Some Guidelines for LOVING

Often, as the holidays approach, people become filled with dread.  We have allowed many outside pressures to overshadow the true nature of the autumn and winter seasons.  As it grows colder and the days get shorter, we spend more time inside, hibernating and sometimes cooped up!

As we head into the seasons of family time and sharing, there are several tips that we can allow to guide us along the path and maintatin our good intentions!

Here are some simple truths that you can aim towards:

  1. Too often we treat “love” as a business agreement: “You do this for me, I do this for you.”  That scorekeeping is not love, it is bargaining.  When visiting family, can you do the dishes without it being a contest?
  2. Love is the “longing to belong” to another person, and to a larger purpose.  It is our precious gift that allows us to express how we feel about ourselves in another relationship. In the space of love, we can heal the hurts that haunt us.  When we create that space, miracles happen for ourelves and our loved ones.
  3. Love is a decision more that an emotion.  Since feelings are fleeting and often unreliable, committing to accept our loved one as they are mirrors the decision to also accept oneself.  This benefits everyone.
  4. We can love from afar, too.  We need not be actively engaged with someone to send them love because true love does not have demands.  It can be given freely without expectation of reward or a particular result.  This includes, loving someone who is engaged in gossip or negativity because it is their habit. You need not engage with the drama but love them with acceptance as they are. This is not to be confused with approving of their behaviopr, simply taking them as the person that they are in this time and spcae.
When we can use these guides, it is so much easier to see the bigger picture and be free of the menacing thoughts that gather evidence against those we love.
Your Assignment: Take one of the above concepts and see how you are doing with it.  Can you develop that quality in your relationships more?  If so, take a few days and cultivate it before moving on to the next one.  Let us know how it goes!

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