Phony Communication Part 2

This week, we are continuing our examination into ineffective communication ploys.

In other words, how are we using fake communication tools that are used from a place of ignorance or fear?

We want to be gentle with ourselves throughout this discovery process.  We keep in mind that we have always done the best that we could with the tools that we had at the time.  We understand that we inherit tools from ancestors and culture.  We also start to see where we have habits that developed simply from not knowing any better and repetition.


Exaggeration is defined as representing (something) as being larger, greater, better, or worse than it really is.

Exaggeration blows up one’s qualities to a larger-than-life volume.  The motivation behind this is; “If I am loud, funny, etc enough, then I will get the attention that I crave.” Often it is characteristics that we come by naturally and have been praised for, often as children or in a childish state, so we ramp them up.  Other times it is simply a cry for help.

I used to exaggerate intellect and humor.  I wore them like badges.  I was determined to avoid using sexuality as bait, meanwhile, I was bludgeoning people by showing off how bright or funny I was.  It was really obnoxious.  I am certain that you can think of many examples of people exaggerating one of their characteristics in order to get attention or approval and how unappealing it is.

This can also include exaggerating your importance with rage or ill-expressed anger.  Both rage and anger are fear-based and are used as an attempt to control a person or situation. When used as a battering ram to force people to do as you wish, you are diminishing their importance and over inflating your own.  Everyone loses.

Your Assignment:

Look at your relationships and the ways in which you interact with others and see where you may have been exaggerating one of your qualities in order to get attention, affection, approval or a sense of security.

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