How to Deal With Negativity

I got my first very negative comment on my blog the other day.

My first thought showed me that I have made progress.  It was, “Wow!  I must be doing something right, I have stirred someone up!”

My second thought was driven by my ego, “Why are they attacking me?  Should I do something different?”

In a moment, I had resorted to an old pattern of wanting approval no matter what the cost.  In the past, I had acted on this impulse, which resulted in me compromising my integrity.  It was a very uncomfortable place to live but I was so desperate for other people’s attention, affection, and approval that I did whatever it took—even diminishing my value—to get it.

After a few breaths, I gently reminded myself that I can “practice what I preach” and utilize the Art of Relationship tools even in this new challenge.

1.     I can remember that when we act in our integrity or our highest good it is sometimes threatening to people who are holding themselves back.  I do not have to judge them or determine why they would lash out.  I can instead release them to their highest good.

2.     Hurt people hurt people, which means that those who are hurting often will continue the hurt-cycle unless they are aware of the cycle and take actions to learn how to stop disempowering themselves and others.

3.     “The other person is YOU.” This is a great quote from Yogi Bhajan.  It always reminds me that we all are one—not simply those with whom I choose to be united!  This is not always convenient!

4.     Sometimes we are on the business end of someone else’s lesson. I have no idea where that person is on their path or what lessons they need to learn.  I may be a catalyst for their growth somehow and need not take it personally.

I feel so grateful for these reminders.  Something as seemingly small as Vj and my date night can be confronting to those who do not “get it.” This is ok.  When it is appropriate, I gently explain the importance of our date night, what it provides for us, and why we protect it so carefully.

Other times, it can be spreading words of peace or love that can stir someone to the point of lashing out.

The negative comments were directed at me, not the article.  When I read them, I sent out some love to the author.  Then I remembered that love is revolutionary.  The quest for love and harmony can be terribly confronting for all of us not simply the author of those comments.  When we can meet adversity with love, we can neutralize negativity and, more importantly, allow others to heal their old hurts.

Your Assignment: Please send love to any author of negativity in your life.  Please also include the person who responded to the Art of Relationship blog.  As my sister says, “We can afford to be graceful, because we have grace.”  Let us today have the generosity of spirit to help heal others and know that it will be given to us when we need it, too.

Comments

One Response to “How to Deal With Negativity”
  1. Beatriz Meza says:

    Is the first time I read your blog. I can identify with the first part. It’s hard to accept that not everyone will like what we say or do. Thanks for reminding me that for every negative comment thrown at me, I need to return a smile :)

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