Don’t go to the Hardware Store for Milk!

A complaint that I often hear has to do with people feeling unsupported by their loved ones.

One thing to remember is that in healthy relationships we each rotate in different roles according to how we are doing internally.  One day, our partner might be rock solid support and the next, they might be unavailable.

Additionally, I hear many complaints of adult children feeling unsupported by their parents or family members.  I assure them, that the family is supportive of them but only in the way that they can be supportive.  The gap is in the expectation.  When we expect others to support us on our terms, we set ourselves up for disappointment and our loved ones up for failure.

Don’t go to the hardware store for milk! ~Unknown

That is not to say that we can’t ask for what we need or want.  The key is to make certain that who you ask:

  1. Has given permission to be trained!
  2. Has the bandwidth to offer the support you need.

A problem arises when we misevaluate the capacity of a loved one.  In their love for us, they may want to support us and verbally express their eagerness to help but simply not have it in them. If that is the case, it doesn’t make them wrong, simply the wrong source for that particular support.

We want to set our loved ones up to win.  We can do that by tuning in to who they have been historically and how they are doing right now.

If our loved one cannot give the needed support, that is where dear friends and spiritual community come it to provide the supplemental strength and wisdom to get you through your time.

Your Assignment: Are you angry at your loved ones because they aren’t supportive of you in the way that you wished?  Can you breathe and release them so that you can go and get the support that you need?

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!