Consciousness in Relationships Simplified

We live in a very Materialistic society—we have the bulk of the world’s riches at our fingertips, yet, we are still so unhappy.  We take pills, overeat, over drink, over spend in efforts to connect or simply numb out because we cannot connect deeply with others.  You may be here not because you have those tendencies, but you find that you are distracting yourself from having the best possible experience in love.

We all have the longing to belong.  It is in the very fiber of being.  It is the need to express god’s love, the majesty and mystery of the universe through loving another that drives us.

Yet we have the instinctual needs for survival that keep us limited and small, protected in a phony way and serving our ego.

Let’s talk a little about the amygdyla.  This is what is called the reptilian or lizard brain.  This is the part of us that is concerned with survival and is constantly scanning for “WHAT IS WRONG with this picture?”  It is the mind of discernment, telling us red light, not green, so we need to stop.

But it is overactive and we have given it too much power.  It tells us that you are separate from me—which is false—and gathers evidence that you are wrong and I am right.  This guy basically guarantees relationship failure.

The lizard brain is the realm of the human animal.  It allows us to survive but thwarts thriving at every turn.

What we want to continue to develop is the realm of the human spirit.  We want to expand into WE not you vs. me.

Developing consciousness around our relationships starts with the breath.  Let’s do that now!


First, we must continue to deepen our breath.  All of our old patterns, thoughts, beliefs, are trapped in our body because at some point, we help our breath and it got locking in.

Second, we must have breathing room in our lives.  If we want to cultivate love and light, there needs to be time and space for it.  There is a real cultural agreement that we must all be running around from place to place and doing, doing, doing things.

For what?  The to-do list will NEVER BE DONE!  So, build breathing room first into your schedule. Here are some ways you can get breathing room:

  1. Offer yourself at least twice the time to get someplace than you “know” it will take.
  2. Set spontaneous time on your calendar!
  3. Stop over committing!  This is selfish! It taps you out and makes you less fun to be with (for yourself and others).  Do LESS!

Third, You must surround yourself with like-minded people who are positive about relationships and changing the world.  We get constant reinforcement and rewards for acting from the lizard brain.  We need a soft place to land where people “get us” and are also into peaceful living


Fourth, You need to constantly expand and grow.  As we grow, our challenges can get bigger, because our capacity has enlarged.  We are here to serve each other and when we do, from a loving place, we really fulfill our purpose and can experience joy like no other!  Consistent reminders and new ideas, perspectives, and tools are key to this point.

These are lifelong goals that we can take baby steps towards every day for eternity.  I invite you to do so!

Your Assignment:

Just start!  Being with setting some reminders about breathing more deeply. If you have an electronic alarm or calendar, you can put it in there to give you the nudge!  Then, print out this article and hang it somewhere so that 1. You are reminded of your intentions 2. You have a roadmap to where you want to go.  Keep going forward in a perfectly imperfect manner and give yourself some grace.

Want more of what you have been reading?  Ready for an upgrade to your love life?  I have systems for singles and couples and I offer a free 20-minute Love Activation consultation. Give our team a call and we will set up time! 415-779-4267

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