Confessions of a Reformed Drama-Mama

I have learned that the more that I reduce drama in my life, the happier I am.  Much of this has been by trial and error.  What could be even more important is that I see how this reduction positively impacts all those around me. I used to be so self-absorbed that I was oblivious to what sort of ripple effect I was having on others.

Last week I came out of the house to find that our wheels were stolen right off of our car!  I tell you, it was a fantastic barometer for how I respond to outside circumstances.

My first thought when I saw our car up on blocks was, “That is interesting!”  Then I mused, “I am pretty sure that we didn’t leave the car like that.”   This is a huge victory for me, a reformed drama-mama.

When I went back inside, I said very calmly to my husband, Vj, “Sweetie, I could use your help.  Our car is on blocks and the wheels have been stolen. I think that we have some calls to make.”

Among the first calls was to our insurance agent.  The woman who took my call was quite dramatic about it.  She offered some unhelpful and unsolicited comments.  I asked her, “Would you do me a favor?  Can you please be neutral about this?  That would be very helpful.” I had a smile on my face that she could not see but she did feel.  She graciously complied.

This was an act of self- preservation. As a reformed drama-mama, I don’t know how long I need to be surrounded by other’s drama before I partake in the mischief.

I cleared my appointments for the day since I had no idea how long it all would take.  By eliminating my time-based obligations, I was able to simply relax and actually enjoy the process.  I like the perspective that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  What that means to me, is that my spirit requested to come into being in order to see what this whole zany human experience is all about.  With this outlook, I can delight in the seeming chaos of the worldly experience.

How this affected those around me is huge.  First, Vj was very grateful that he didn’t need to take care of a hysterical wife (he has past recollections of this).  Then, the man at the tire store gave us a great discount and a house call so that we didn’t have to figure out how to tow a car with no wheels.  Additionally, the insurance claims rep gave me a hug after she submitted my claim.

I knew that every person that I dealt with—from the police department, to all the vendors and repair people—was my ally.  Each one was another facilitator of my needs.  Every step I took toward a resolution built goodwill between a former stranger and me.

Your Assignment:

Take a look to see where you might contribute to any drama.  If it is someone else’s misfortune, do you take it on as your own?  When you hear “bad” news, do you make a gasp?  (The gasp is a culturally sanctioned subtle form of gasoline on the drama fire.) If you are free from drama, can you lovingly guide someone away from its insidious lure?  Is there a place where you can let others know that you won’t partake in drama or gossip?

Comments

One Response to “Confessions of a Reformed Drama-Mama”
  1. Ruth Akech says:

    Oh dear…you’ve nailed it! I’m also reforming- from the hysteria so characteristic of drama-beings- n really like yr article.
    I still lapse into it once in a while, but i do understand how insane the world can be, and is quite understanding of my reaction.

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