Are You Playing Victim Without Even Knowing It?

Woman on the tracksI pay a lot of attention to language.  I am fascinated by how profoundly it shapes our reality.  When I take a look at that, I can become even more free from self-imposed limits.

One’s word choices reveal one’s character.  Often, we frame past events as something that “happened to me.”   This statement weakens one’s power and enables a victim posture.  This sometimes-invisible victim mentality is especially vexing when we create it in relationships with others.  Too often, we feel that others are doing something to us rather than near us. We take things personally that need not be.  This is very common and often hard to diagnose.

Even in something as quotidian as traffic; how often do we take someone cutting us off as a personal insult?  Our lizard brain thinks, “Who do they think they are?!  They are not more important than I am!?”  Or something equally disempowering.

One of the things that helps me to have access to the bigger picture is the notion that sometimes I am on the business end of someone else’s lesson.  What this means to me is that if someone is ungraceful near me* I can rest knowing that they have something to work out within themselves that has little, if anything, to do with me.  I can take it personally, or leave it alone.  The choice is mine.

Today, I choose to let others work out their own lessons without taking things personally.

People who are in pain cause more pain.  Therefore it is my duty to address and heal my pain so that the ripple effect that I cause is one of peace, harmony, and bliss rather than destruction, suffering, and turmoil.

Your Assignment:

Can you allow someone to be ungraceful near you, instead of at or to you?  Can your language reflect a new neutrality to life?  Instead of being in a victim’s role, can you say to yourself, “That’s interesting!”?

*I use the word near instead of “at,” “to,” or “with” because it isn’t about me.

Comments

One Response to “Are You Playing Victim Without Even Knowing It?”
  1. So true Sarah!

    Language has a lot of power, but unfortunately we too often use that power negatively in order to refer to ourselves as passive onlookers in our own life, instead of the powerful creators we are.

    Great job of re-framing the actions of other people into something more positive and empowering!

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