Are we there, yet?

 

In this Art of Relationship community, we often speak about the power of giving others the dignity of their own experience.

And now my wish is that you expand into doing that more and more for yourself.

Many people have voiced how upset they are with themselves that they aren’t “further down the path” or they aren’t “there yet.”

I ask them, “Where?”

It may sound trite, and we all know it intellectually, but many of us who are on a growth path get caught in the egoic trap of wanting to be more spiritually well-balanced or advanced than we really are.

Even worse is when that needy feeling turns into criticism and self-judgment.  In extreme cases, it is used as evidence to rationalize self-hatred.

A friend in L.A. always says: We will never rise above human and we will all have moments that are unspiritual in nature.

So what do we do when we are in a valley of dark emotions, feeling overpowered by our shadow, or simply depressed?

The answer is simple, yet not always easy to employ: allow yourself the dignity of this experience.

You never know what part this is playing in your growth, how it will later serve you and make you more useful to god or her kids.

The yogic way is to go into the experience and then move on.

“Resistance is useless!” said the Borg, and they were right!

When we allow ourselves the full spectrum of emotion, then we can more deeply experience our humanity when things are going well, too.

Your Turn:

Where are you resisting a part of you that you’d rather not experience?  Can you open up and make friends with it, even just a little bit?  Can you allow yourself to be perfectly imperfect exactly as you are?

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