Allowing others to be NICE to you

When asked, “Do you allow people to be nice to you?” any of us would give an automatic “Yes!” and that is exactly the reason we want to take a deeper look at this.

The Art of Receiving is a crucial part of relating.  No one wants to give their love to someone who does not return it.

And yet, how often do we say “No” to people?  In this very individualized society that applauds self-sufficiency, we have become quite isolated and taken our personal space a bit too far.  There are so many subtle ways in which we refuse help, friendship, and love.

Here are a few of the many ways we resist connecting:

  1. Not allowing someone to open a door for us, give us a hand, or help out.  We often say “That’s okay. I got it.”  We could, instead, say “Thank you.”
  2. Failing to return someone’s phone call or email.  We all do it.  Our techie messages can get lost in the shuffle but often it is simply a case of feeling too overwhelmed to “get to it” in the moment.
  3. Over-scheduling. PERIOD.  This is one of the most insidious and culturally-sanctioned practices.  In our efforts to DO the best, we miss out on BEING our best and squeeze out all breathing room in our schedules.  This makes it impossible to connect with others.

You can give someone a hundred dollars easier than you can give someone some time or attention.

The more I work with clients and travel this path, the more I see that these are smoke screens for fear and keep us locked in a phony protection.  It takes courage to say “no” to being busy and “yes” to connecting.  It is not how we are trained, but it is worth every breath we take.

After all, none of us will lay on our death beds wishing we had spent more time doing errands or working.  We will long for the connections we could have made, unless we start now and have the courage to allow people to be nice to us.

Your Assignment: Pare down your calendar and make room to cultivate a relationship that you have neglected.  Imagine that today is your last day on Earth.  What friend or family members would know exactly how you feel?  Call the ones that wouldn’t and let them know now.

As always, please let me know how it goes!

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