Active Listening

An unsung hero in communication techniques is deep and active listening. One of the ways we want to set people up to win, is to give them a platform from which they can get real! When we give people the space to speak openly, all kinds of wonderful things happen, including connection, elimination of friction, and optimum mental health!

Deep and active listening means that we are not waiting for our turn to talk but are hearing every word that is spoken.

When we do this, we allow the other person to speak and finish speaking before responding. While listening to that person speak, we really listen rather than formulate a response to what they are saying. If needed, we can take notes and refer back to them when it’s time to respond.

Other key ingredients to Active Listening are:

  • Knowing that a response isn’t always necessary.
  • Abstaining from “fixing” the person who is speaking.
  • Giving the speaker the dignity of their own experience.
  • Listening without judging.
  • Not making it about you. Whatever your speaker is saying, you may hold the space and allow them to be who they are in this moment. It is not a reflection of yourself.
  • Abstaining from evaluating it or judging. You can evaluate my own experience and provide space for you to share your experience with me if you desire to do so.

Your Assignment:

The VERY next conversation that you have, try to apply three of the above principles of Active Listening.  Each subsequent conversation, add another principle to your repetoire.  With some folks it will be easier than others.  You will be a champion when you can apply all of the principles to someone who pushes your buttons.  Let me know how it goes!

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